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14 Qualities of Being a Successful Parent
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1. Enjoy being a parent. They enjoy parenting not because it’s easy or instantly rewarding, but because of the sheer joy and privilege of cooperating with God in shaping another unique and precious life. Any parent of grown children will tell you "they grow up so quickly." Successful parents remind themselves of that and try to savor every day with their children. They immerse themselves in their children as much as possible and just enjoy them – even the days of dirty diapers, illness and disappointments. They don’t just LOVE their children, they LIKE them and look forward to spending time with them. 2. Identify good qualities in your children. Telling your children about their good qualities is the quickest way to help them build self confidence. Make a conscious effort to identify and compliment your children for their good qualities. Sometimes it is necessary to take a pause from the rush of life and enjoy the wonderful qualities that your children possess. Don’t think for a moment that a mental note is enough. Point out your children’s good qualities and let them build upon them. |
| 3. Make time daily to spend with your kids. Life has a way of consuming all of your time. It is easy to become “too busy” to do anything with your kids. If you can’t find the time, make the time. No matter how busy you are, or how tired you may be; there is no reason to deny your children of 30 minutes of your daily time. Give your kids thirty minutes every day for whatever they wish to do. |
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| 4. Communicate positively with your children. Talk to your kids in a positive way. Talk to them in a friendly manner about whatever subject they wish to discuss. Avoid falling into the trap of speaking to your kids only when you need to discipline them. Kids get your attention most easily when they are getting into trouble, but don’t make this the only time you talk to them because your speech will be less than pleasant. Give your children the benefit of positive communication and they will be more likely to talk to you in good times and bad. |
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5. Involve children in household activities and family trips. Although this will be a subject of controversy, I would suggest keeping as many electronic “toys” in common family areas. Keep televisions, computers, and phones out of children’s rooms whenever possible. Additionally the daily time allowed to use these attention demanding items should be regulated. Encourage family time and whenever possible do the unthinkable…talk to each other. In addition to household activities, plan fun events outside of the house in which the kids can be involved. Plan simple, but exciting activities that everyone can enjoy. Also plan vacations and trips together when possible. Allow your children to contribute their ideas for your times together. Make a habit of giving the children something to look forward to with the family. |
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| 6. Listen attentively to your children. Be aware of the way you listen to your children—especially when you are busy. Take care to assure your children that you think that what they say is important. At times when you are preoccupied, it is easy to make the mistake of answering your children without paying full attention to what they are saying. When you find yourself answering your children by saying, “uh huh,” “yeah,” or a similar manner of thoughtless speech, take note of it and pay closer attention to your children. As a parent, you would surely take offense if your children answered you in this way. Be sure to look at them when they are talking to you. This may take a little extra effort, but it will make you give them the attention they deserve, and your children will see that you believe that what they say is important. |
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| 7. Be willing to change. Part of being a successful parent is knowing when to change something about yourself. Don’t allow your determination to be a good parent prevent you from being one. Everyone wants to be a perfect parent, but there truly is no such thing. Parents do make mistakes from time to time. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes as a parent, as long as you can admit it to yourself and make changes for the better. |
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| 8. Protect your children’s safety. Caring for the safety of your children may seem to be so obvious that it does not need mention. It is amazing how many parents fail to care for even basic elements of their children’s safety. From parents who call upon their young children to cross a busy street after school while they sit in their cars, to others who let their children roam the streets without any knowledge of where they are, it can be disturbing to see how some parents deprive their children of basic safety. Never gamble on the safety of your children. |
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| 9. Do not allow your children to disrespect you or your spouse. Being a good parent does not mean you must allow your children to disrespect you or your spouse(or partner). Be certain that your children understand what you expect of them in regard to respect. |
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| 10. Don’t argue with your spouse in front of the children. In heated moments, this may seem difficult to avoid; but there is nothing that can be gained from arguing in front of your children. When something becomes a big enough issue that an argument is unavoidable, be aware that the children are watching and find a way to bottle it up and discuss it in private. There is nothing wrong with your children knowing that you have disagreements with your spouse (or partner), but unless you want your children to be a part of the argument, it is best to take care of the disagreement privately. Don’t put children in a position where they will take sides or hear utterances that will be apologized for later. Whatever it takes keep your children out of your arguments. |
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11. Tell your children you love them. 12. Be the person you want your children to be There are no formulas for parents. You can’t just "program" children like a computer and be guaranteed of the result. But children are great observers and imitators. They watch, listen and absorb values and habits from the people who have the greatest influence on them – their parents. So successful parents resolve that they will set the best example they can for their children. 13. Pray with your children I believe praying for your children and with your children is one of the most important things you can do as a parent. The most important thing in life is a relationship with God. What better way to point your children to that relationship then by praying with them. Not only will this help your children learn how to pray, but it will also help strengthen their relationship with our heavely father and bring you closer to your children as well.
14. Get Support Successful parenting means trusting yourself, but not being a Lone Ranger. No one has the experience or answers to every parenting challenge. But each of us has some of the answers and, together, we’ve got them all. So successful parents aren’t reluctant to seek out the wisdom of others. They know that, at the end of the day, the decision is theirs, but before they get there, there is plenty of wisdom along the way waiting to help them.
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